Backroads and Interstates

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June 2018

bowlingshirtbellas:

follow-ur-heart-till-it-bleeds:

honestly if a vampire ever “sparkled” in public no ones going to think they’re not human. they’re just gonna be like “damn that’s a lot of body glitter. man look at you being you, right on. you do you boo, freedom of expression.”

Vampires can go out in the sun now thanks to fenty body lava

Jun 26, 2018 32,086 notes

uristmcdorf:

seshrat:

seshrat:

so the cah pride pack has options for buying it “with glitter" and “without glitter” and knowing cards against humanity they just tip like 3 tablespoons of fucking glitter into the pack of cards and send it out

this is absolutely what they’ve done

I did it to myself so you don’t have to

send help

Jun 26, 2018 161,557 notes

brassy:

brassy:

brassy:

brassy:

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this

did you just trigger tag my grandma

Jun 26, 2018 727,840 notes
Jun 26, 2018 96,335 notes

feynites:

gfdisterek:

gfdisterek:

autistic-answers:

were-all-queer-here:

felixves:

I do this thing where if i have to go to a family event where I will be expected to be a girl I pretend I am a SPY and I am IN DISGUISE AS A TEEN GIRL and my mission is to EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM MY GRANDPARENTS without giving away my real identity. works every time.

  • your dress and makeup is now a DISGUISE
  • your ‘birth name’ is now an ALIAS
  • getting told by your parents to be nice and not yell at anyone being racist is MISSION BRIEFING
  • your entire extended family are now FOREIGN DIGNITARIES and you gotta make it thru the evening without being discovered as a RADICAL SPY
  • carrying a small water pistol and one of those fake-lipstick pens in your purse helps to get in the zone. the best part of being a spy is the nifty gadgets everyone knows that.
  • BONUS if you have to bring a friend of another gender with you to pretend to be your boyfriend. you are both PARTNER SPIES and one of you has to be the cranky but soft-hearted veteran and the other has to be the endearingly-assholeish rookie. 

Seems like actually a great way to deal with dysphoria

Shout-out to all the spies who are faced with the world’s most difficult missions.

This is the best coping strategy I have ever seen.

Bringing this back for pride month.

Okay but also remember that spy work is tiring and exciting but very draining! You are a high profile agent working a stressful job, when you get back you need to take some down time and look after yourself, too!

Jun 26, 2018 183,656 notes
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slytherin-stud:

blinkpen:

shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut any time you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father’s house at night while chanting ominously about his sins,

This took a weird turn, but I’m still on board

Jun 26, 2018 686,108 notes
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Jun 26, 2018 9,055 notes

manunkinda:

So this is a problem. For those that don’t know, this November MA is putting a question up on whether the transgender nondiscrimination law that was passed in 2016 should be repealed.

If this law gets repealed, transgender residents will face discrimination in public places and will have to by law use the restroom based on their assigned sex at birth, not what they identify as.

For those in other states who might be thinking “Oh, this won’t affect me at all!”

It will.

If this law gets repealed, the opponents (the people who approve of the repeal) will try to eliminate transgender protection laws across the United States.

Keep in mind, this article was at the back of the Pride magazine I picked up at a movie theater. Not many people I’ve talked to seem to know that this is going to happen.

I don’t care if this doesn’t fit your blog.

Spread this like wildfire.

Jun 25, 2018 14,041 notes
Jun 25, 2018 278 notes

gaycactus:

people who use baby naming websites:

- expecting parents
- trans people changing their names
- writers
- that guy outside my dorm room who was arguing with his buddy on whether the name Zach was in the bible and then very loudly announced that “behind the name dot com says its biblical in origin so fuck you”

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firstdegreeliberty:

heimwehr:

robloxgf:

suicidalnautilus:

robloxgf:

how dare u reblog my posts but not follow me

If you find a gold bar in a trash bag, will you take the whole trash can, or just the gold bar?

the fuck

cold af

*writes down time of death*

Jun 25, 2018 259,476 notes

radial-glia:

slytherinica:

relucant:

bemusedlybespectacled:

the-archmagister:

bemusedlybespectacled:

so last week I was walking downtown and a girl leaned out her car window and yelled “YOU LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS” and today a girl walked past me on the sidewalk and said “I love your socks” (they have birds on them) and I suggest we replace all cat-calling with girls complimenting each other on the street because honestly I have never felt more pretty or into girls in my goddamn life

Catcalling is a compliment when women do it

no, complimenting isn’t catcallng because it’s actually trying to make the person happy as opposed to deliberately harassing someone as a power trip

one of the best moments of my life was biking past this group of late-teens girls and one yelling “I LIKE YOUR BIKE,” and i smiled and waved, and another yells after me “and you’re pretty!”

women supporting other women is pure and will always be a good thing; men harassing people because they feed off of asserting dominance over people without power will always be trash

If men want to yell things like your socks are cool and I love your hair, that would be well appreciated. But instead they’ll just bark at me from their cars.

Jun 24, 2018 185,315 notes
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Jun 24, 2018 132,212 notes

fangirlinginleatherboots:

churchyardgrim:

shuttheupfuck:

fangirlinginleatherboots:

teaching children that they are allowed to walk away and cool off if they are feeling overwhelmed might literally save their life as teens/adults

could save other ppls lives too.

I feel like the key here is letting them know that they can come back to the discussion, and that you’re not just sending them to their room with different words

“go calm down” is just dismissive, but “go calm down and we’ll talk more about this in half an hour” validates the child and lets them know that you’re not just brushing them off 

its also worth noting that “go calm down” as a statement, regardless of what follows it, comes across as dismissive. add plurality to the comment.

“LET’S go calm down.” “LET’S take a break” “WE BOTH should step away”

never expect a child to do what you yourself arent willing to do in the situation. otherwise, its just a time out.

Jun 24, 2018 163,360 notes

frankenmouse:

thelepidopteragirl:

necrobiologist:

By the way, a cautionary tale

If you find a bunch of bones that are A: untouched and B: supernaturally clean, there is definitely a reason for both of those things. Sometimes that reason is ants. Sometimes those ants are fire ants. Sometimes those fire ants have made a nest over the entire three meter area around those bones

Sounds like someone had an adventure with fire ants

I love that this started like one of those rural Gothic posts and ended with “FUCK FIRE ANTS”

Jun 24, 2018 215,613 notes

januarium:

batcii:

what happened to the tiny little dragon pals that the triwizard champions drew from that bag????? harry mentions it being in the boys dorm later but never mentions it again like ??? if I had a tiny dragon companion i could carry around on my shoulder like a weird, spiky little bird i would literally never let it out of my sight

@loveheartlover: #oh my god#I never even thought about this#imagine charlie coming home for christmas and fleur like sprints upstairs and fetches her teeny dragon#like ‘charlie I know you like ze dragons look’#and charlie promptly adopts the tiny thing and decides bill’s girlfriend is the best person in the world#and then harry fucking gives him another#and charlie just sits on the floor and cries as he cups these tiny little dragons in his hands

Charlie Weasley crying about tiny dragons is my aesthetic.

Jun 24, 2018 117,099 notes
Jun 24, 2018 143,053 notes

galahadwilder:

kazzyokada:

littlemissonewhoisall:

knighthawkchapter:

since1938:

trekmemes:

galahadwilder:

Please picture the following

Wonder Woman greeting T’Challa with the Wakanda Forever salute, but forgetting what happens when she clashes her gauntlets like that

Accidentally blowing him through three walls, a car, and M’Baku

He is, of course, completely fine, but that was certainly not the greeting he expected from the suddenly VERY apologetic Princess

Bonus: T’Challa runs back to Diana and does the salute again, channeling the power from the improved kinetic absorption and redistribution on his suit, and launches Diana straight into the sky. They laugh about it later.

This is the wholesome content I signed up for

Further bonus: during a later team-up, the villain has T’Challa by the throat and is threatening to snap his neck if Diana comes any closer. She hesitates, at which point the villain laughs and asks if T’Challa has any last words. Of course he does:

“Wakanda Forever…”

Diana just smiles…

The cross continuity friendship we deserve 

Someone made art!

Jun 24, 2018 86,415 notes
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tomatomagica:

shitmygaywifesays:

shitmygaywifesays:

I want to tell y’all a story about supporting and loving your partner, starring my amazing wife.

I’ve mentioned before that I had an eating disorder for many years, and though I consider myself “recovered” there are aspects of my disorder that I still struggle with today — being quite a bit heavier than my wife is one of them.

When my wife and I moved in together back when we were still girlfriends, I was at my skinniest. She used to pick me up all the time and lift me off the ground, and I’d laugh and kick out my legs ‘cause I was just delighted to have her holding me.

But I started gaining weight as I went through recovery, and where once we were pretty close in size, I began to get bigger. And bigger. And bigger. And she remained her naturally petite self. I began to almost dread when she’d try to pick me up, sure that this time she wouldn’t be able to get me off the ground.

But every time, even if I protested, she’d lift me up and say something like: “See, you’re not so big that I can’t lift you!”

And one time I just blurted out: “But someday I’m going to be so fat you won’t be able to.”

She looked me dead in the eye and said: “No you won’t. Because if that ever happens, I’ll start working out.”

It was the best possible thing she could have said to me, because she wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to get fat — neither of us knew that for sure. She was just saying that I was never going to be “too fat” for her.

And every time I worry about getting bigger, I remember that I’ll never be so big that she can’t lift me, because baby knows how much I love being held, and she’ll change her own habits to ensure that I never feel “too big” or “too heavy” because in her eyes I’ll never be “too” anything.

Anyway, there’s a moral to this story: Find yourself a partner who will never consider you an excess. You should never be “too much” to someone who loves you — too big, too loud, too passionate, too awkward, whatever your “too” happens to be. And even as you change and grow (in my case, literally), the right person will be there through the changes, to tell you that you’re always just right for them.

My strongwoman, the wind beneath my wings, the arms under my ass.   😍😍 😍

Jun 24, 2018 38,582 notes
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weirdmageddon:

weirdmageddon:

i feel kinda fucked up that im living in a country with a nazi regime and not being able to do anything about it and nothing is working. we need to take to the streets in droves and riot. gather thousands of people. throw rocks at the white house. sprinkle sugar on the campgrounds where the tents are gonna be built (2 lbs of sugar can ruin up to one ton of unset concrete). or throw hydrogen peroxide filled water balloons at the exposed steel to corrode it faster because theyre literally building concentration camps in 106°F texas heat for children who cannot regulate their body temperature like adults

nobody in power is listening so we have to do it ourselves

more info on the location and science on how to destroy the building site

children count and weather source

and remember

just. fight back. please…dont just stand by. do whatever you can, spreading info is something everyone can do

Jun 24, 2018 43,765 notes
Jun 24, 2018 62,826 notes

shabootyisland:

iamoutofideas:

macklemorehentai:

dongstomper:

trailerparkhardcore:

lycoteuthis:

so this dude invented “a device” to help shy dudes pee in public restrooms

except it’s literally just a crushed velvet cape with suction cups on the hem

Suction warlock

don the piss robe

+6 stealth
-8 charisma

pisslord

it took two fucking years but i finally found piss cloak again

Jun 24, 2018 214,660 notes

batmanisagatewaydrug:

listen if you think someone is cool and you dig their energy you just have to tell them, because that’s the kind of stuff you remember a thousand times longer than somebody complimenting your hair or whatever. tonight I told a girl from my theory class that I like her analytical approach and she bounced back at me saying she digs my feminine energy and how she gets the vibe that, to my core, I exist to uplift women and I damn near cried. tell people what resonates about them. be real. help each other feel seen.

Jun 24, 2018 180,875 notes

oldwordcubed:

jenniferrpovey:

See, here’s the problem:

Rich people don’t give money unless PR says they should.

Middle class people don’t give money because we live in constant terror of something happening to make us poor.

Poor people give money, but they don’t really have it to give.

And that’s why charity doesn’t do what it should for society.

Actually, rich people are very generous—to each other.

The second-richest nonprofit in the world is Harvard University, with an endowment of $36.4 BILLION. This year they got a donation of $400 million dollars, because rich people will throw gobs of money at organizations that cater to them.

So next time you hear a libertarian say that without welfare, charity will take care of people, punch them in the face.

Jun 23, 2018 12,792 notes

pancakeke:

yall would live much happier lives if you would stop to think “is this about me?” before starting pointless shit.

you don’t need to accuse a post about safe sex of being aphobic. someone talking about the struggles of being bi doesn’t need you saying they should be a lesbian instead. if someone talks about a nice thing their dad did they don’t need you replying about shitty men are

so many people around here are so rude and bitter that it almost seems like they’re trolling but they’re not! they’re just horribly self centered

Jun 23, 2018 15,255 notes

singingyogi:

commonlynonsensical:

while I’m here:

  • aspartame does not give you cancer
  • gluten is not bad for you if you’re not allergic/don’t have celiac disease
  • superfoods aren’t real, they’re just healthy things with maybe some nicer levels of certain vitamins
  • vaccines do not cause autism or really anything else and the chemicals present in them that typically scare you are in such minute amounts that they do precisely fuck-all in your body (we’re talking scales of one part per million)
  • you cannot do a cleanse or diet to “rid your body of toxins,” your kidneys and liver have that covered
  • GMO foods will not kill you; most genetic crop modification just makes our crops hardier and produce more food (and genetic modification doesn’t inject more chemicals into your food, it’s just minor altering of DNA that is made of the exact same stuff your DNA is made from)
  • if you feed your cat a vegan diet I will personally come to your home with the skull of a long-dead predator, point out the shape of its jaw and teeth as indicators of predatory feeding habits, and then beat you with it

I love this

Jun 23, 2018 268,428 notes
Jun 23, 2018 94,695 notes

itsmisspickle:

dailytweets:

Amazon Link: https://amzn.to/2twJSuu

Looks like millennials kill an industry before it even got off the ground😂

Jun 23, 2018 85,161 notes
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glyxiebear:

camben24:

4wns:

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

sorry to improve your day without much notice but 

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

Jun 23, 2018 73,294 notes
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